Run with Pride; Finish with Poise

I read this on a Facebook page I frequent regularly. It's full of runners that are so supportive and encouraging and many are in the gushing stages of becoming a runner. I love to wander there and read the amazing stories, very inspiring. This phrase today struck a chord with me: 

Run with Pride; Finish with Poise

So true. Run your race, run what you trained for, take pride in what you can accomplish. Finish strong and try as much as you can to finish with dignity even if your legs, feet, arms, back, tummy are killing you. I want to use this mantra as much as possible. I will be able to put that one to the test tomorrow, even though it is NOT a timed run, it's a fun run, it's a run to welcome the new year.

But I will definitely run with pride and finish with poise even if that poise is throwing both arms in the air yelling YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!

The Invitation

While doing some cleanup on my computer (amazing how much one accumulate when one doesn't see it...) I came across this little gem called The Invitation. I was exposed to the book very briefly and I have been thinking about it more of late, I think I may have to see if I can borrow it from the library... The last sentence is the most powerful of them.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. It want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, wearing and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

The runners high

Anyone who is into sports will be able to relate to the exhilaration that one feels when the endorphins are finally released in the bloodstream. This feeling will give you either an extra push in your legs or the strength to lift heavier weights or just feel so bloody happy and giggly. I've experienced all of these sensations and many a times will be able to almost recreate them just by talking about running or reliving a certain race. My eyes sparkle, my smile broaden, my energy level increases. I truly love exercise.

And not only running although IS my main focus. But spinning, yoga, body pump (NOT pushups though... hate these with a passion, I prefer planks over pushups). I don't get as much on the machines like elliptical or plain stationery bike. Nah, I need a class environment, music, an instructor that yells "come on! 10 more seconds! You can DO IT!!!"..... ahhh nothing like hearing this to make you think "I can give you 10 more seconds, yes, I can do that" :) The feeling is so intense when you finish. You are completely spent thinking it was so hard this time but dammit, you did it! And that's exactly when my endorphins kick in. That is when I think I'm damn good at this.

I always leave the spin room feeling great. Tired but great. It's how I also feel about running.  It is not easy, oh goodness it is not easy. There aren't too many runs that are fluid, no sensation, just a feeling of floating on air putting one foot in front of the other. Noooo... running takes energy. You spend energy. You get high but you definitely spend energy to get there.

I haunt a Facebook page called I <3 (symbol for heart) Running, a page where many come to gush about their love of running, sometimes ask a question or share their doubts or shout out loud about their successes. There is also the odd person who post a ridiculous quote like "do or die" as in run or die. Some of these black/white type of quotes do absolutely nothing to me. In fact, they disturb me because so many people take them at face value and will push, push, push to the utter limit of themselves without a concern for their health. Unbalanced and dangerous to say the least.


But one thing that is apparent from many posts on that page is that many many have the runners high, especially at the beginning. It's like they never have enough! They breathe, eat, drink running. They can't stop thinking about it, they want their drug, they cannot function without their run... I used to be like this during my first year or so of running. Now I'm like oh you poor thing... there is more to life than just running. An addiction is an addiction, no matter what. I now prefer to be balanced, not as fast but in good health and not injured. At least I can continue getting my fix rather than raging because I'm sidelined AGAIN due to a recurring injury.

But it's heart warming to see so many people are picking up this wonderful sport. I sincerely hope that many will transfer this love of running to their children so they can in turn become good runners and continue the cycle of good health caused by exercise. So bring on the runners high! What a feeling!!!

Never give up

I have been called determined many times in my life. I like that characteristic. It’s better than stubborn in my opinion...determined is more positive, you want to succeed and yet you know that if it’s stupid, dangerous or just plain silly, you’ll let it go.

Being determined makes things happen, the ones that are supposed to happen though. Not what is not meant to be. What is not meant to happen will NOT happen no matter what or how you try to make it happen. That’s when stubbornness comes into play. 

On Saturday I was invited to a fund raising event hosted by a few friends. Since I knew some in the group and therefore wouldn’t be on my own, I accepted to go (my friend was the auctioneer). I hadn’t seen many of them in a long time and I was the recipient, a very happy recipient too, of a lot of praise for the way I looked. Ok, this made me happy. In a superficial, ego stroking kind of way. Who doesn’t like to be told they look good? Even though it’s not my main goal, I’ve worked hard for the body I have and it feels good when positive feedback is received.

But while I was receiving the compliments, part of me was also very happy that I am a determined person. Determination is what keeps me going, make me go to the classes, continue to run even though it’s so hard sometimes. Never cease to amaze me just how it can be tough for the first 5k, my head is full of dark thoughts, my legs are stiff, achy, not painful but the left leg is definitely in need of TLC. Then just like magic, all settles and I am actually having good thoughts, I have fun, I look around me and feel good. And then I think yes, this is it, this is why you do it. And it’s one run, one yoga class, one pedal stroke on that bike closer to my goal. Sometimes when I run and I have my dark moments, I keep telling myself that it will get better, it always does get better and to trust myself. Self doubt is huge for me but I’m getting better. 

I have problems applying this to my personal life though. I keep thinking that I will never meet anyone, that love will not find me, that nobody will approach me because I give this harsh vibe and that they don’t want to be with me. But I get looks, guys look at me on the street, I’m not ugly, I can still get a second look. It’s just not happening right now and a small part of me is accepting this now. I am determined but not stubborn... It will happen, just not at this present moment. But soon, one day. I know it will. We’ll find each other and it will be great. I’m not ready to give up, not just yet.